FUCKED UP

I'm the problem?

FRIENDS

I totally have no reasons to get upset.
But just can't help it.

The whole day I was hoping at least someone I love would sms me,
Talking to me and stuff.
But nobody did.

I was the one who took all the initiative to sms others.
And yeah always the one who have to wait for others to reply.

Maybe sick?
But I don't feel like caring anymore.
Even like I've heard they were out enjoying themselves.
I was like wondering.
Why didn't they thought of me?

Perhaps that is the time when fun is more well defined.

PARENTS

The talk about maturity.
The talk about right decisions.

Maybe I shouldn't have gone all the way to reservoir without saying a single word.
But I can say I'm an adult who knows how to handle stuff,
Make the right decisions...

Like times when you both were worried for me.
Why?
Afraid that I'm unable to defend myself?
Scared that I'm not able to handle the tension?

But haven't you seen me grow yet?


I felt like telling you all.
I'm a fucking adult.
I know what's right and what's wrong.
And I wanna tell you all that I fucking hate they way you all thought I was smoking and drinking.
When I so hate it.

Times when you were busy with your work.
Did I say anything?
Times when you both didn't have the time for me.
And I was always alone in the house without anything to do.

Now at least I know how to work.
I know how to live.
And you starts to wonder what were you all there for.

I don't want your money.
I want your idea of me being somebody you can live with.
Somebody who is struggling and growing up as you all work your asses out.

I was working to get stuff that I want.
And you all just won't let me.
Even when I had the money.
You all said it wasn't needy.
But wasn't those what I was working for?

Stop being so worried.
You should know.
That I know.


The whole day I was damn depressed.
I was sad when no one replies my messages.
I was pissed when I heard they all gathered without me.
And I was even more angry when they rather go there than to come find me.
And at least kept me company.

Why did I have the job oh so tiring and exhausting?
It made me missed so much.
Fuck you stupid job.
It's not like I want it this way.


Keep right.
I have to go bathe like now.
Yeah today was a fucking day.






High,
Low.
Fast.
Slow.

He looked up.
Dozen of diamonds sparkling as if they were having fun.
As if they were smiling at him.

He reached out.
To no avail.
The stars slipped off.

They weren't meant to be caught.
They were meant to be admired.