THE FEARS

I'm uncertain what my mind was full of.
Maybe no one would ever know.
Not even me.

They didn't managed to catch the glimpses of the moments I've shedded my tears this time round.
Now I'm perfectly normal,
To them at least.
I don't want them to start thinking haywire anymore.
I feel blessed with what I have now.
Yeah indeed, I fear that they will be leaving me, everybody.

Sometimes,
I dread looking at how things are going for others.
And comparing them to me.

Because it made me so sick ;
I have so much expectations,
So many secrets.
Yet I can't be pouring them out to others.
I have my promises to keep.

Today I feel terribly unattached.
Like everyone around is slowing walking away.
I want hugs.
I need hugs.
To at least prove that it's not happening.

That's why you see me staying so close to pengyang angela shih and mervin at times.
And when I paused and traced my steps,
I'm glad that mervin is there to make sure I'd be walking.
Sorry for those bites I gave.
It was intentional, to let you know.

Plus the tension I get with my family.
I just don't feel like caring anymore.
What's the use of loving when there isn't any trust at all?

What to do now?
Pretend like I don't care.
There, you have the door.