Angels Fly.

AAH I called in 987 just now, & it was so bloody cool!


Went studying with jingwen on a last minute decision. & we just suddenly had the urge to call 987.

& obviously I succeeded, & IT WAS SO BLOODY COOL! I mean cheryl recorded it, & even olivia heard it & asked whether it was me or not!


I think I'm going to ask for Sean Kingston's Me Love or Justin Timberlake's Lovestoned, depending on which one hadn't been played yet. & it's so frustrating that whenever I got through to the waiting brr-brr line, I never get picked up!

& I've already called for like a zillion times already! Damn muttons. Going to dedicate the song to Jill, Jingwen, Fanny & Jeremy. But not to gary because he said he won't be listening.


Like now, I'm actually on the waiting line again. PLEASE PICK ME UP LAH. Stupid muttons. HAHAHAHAA.



& to you who always refused to reply me. I am confused all over again.


---
Actually. I think. That. I. Am such. A. Disappointment.
If I did set up a test, I doubt anyone will get 100% as easily as I think they will.


A few days back, I suddenly decided to reminiscence a lil' bit. I went exploring & ended up reading the past entries of regulars. Notably mervin's & angela's. & my own nonetheless. & discovered that I've forgotten most of the past I had.

It was a sudden surge of nostalgia.

I even brought back my old nickname to show the appreciation I felt for the past. You know-
]_shaWn_[☠`o5™. My old original one.
(I missed this alot.)

I found pictures of the past, thinking that it would be helpful in the upcoming presentation we'd have to prepare for our graduation night.



But the feeling only lasted a little while.

Because I knew it was foolish of me to be thinking of the past when people around seemed to have no concern over it.

Especially when I asked jieting, what I thought the reply would be was, "yeah I missed it too. Haha good times yeah. Remember that ... ..." , & you see, that I had assumed that she would surely be sharing the same sentiments as me.

But she'd only said, "no use thinking about it." Which I do not know what to reply.

I knew that it was just a waste of time getting into a fit to try and prove her wrong that we can all relive these memories. Because even me myself doubt that.

I asked her why.

& she asked me, "got use meh? u tell me."

& suddenly I felt the emptiness inside, & at the same time, as if someone squeezing my heart real tightly. So tightly that I can feel it thumping for help against my chest. It was a quick but paceful beating. I felt a little like crying.

"sadist leh you."
"wrong. its realistic."

I couldn't say anything else. I knew that she was right.



Who are we all kidding? No one stays on forever.
Especially those who had been deeply hurt & not wanting to trust anyone again.


& When I smsed mervin. He didn't even reply.


So I just sounded stupid saying that the past was beautiful.
---

A year down the road
We'll see each other off
Down the aisle.

Ten years before
I didn't know of your existence
And your name.

Ten years down the road
We'll forget each other
And bump past on the street
Maybe.

Ten days before
I'd just seen your face
You'd just stared.

Ten thousand days before
We didn't know for how long
Did we meet

Tens of hearts
Millions of galaxies
It'll take more than these to be


&

It hurts so much inside
Hurts like someone slicing a knife through
Hurts like drinking cynacide
Burning

It hurts oh so much
Hurts like the raven which had plunged
Hurts like the disappearing rainbow
Out of sight

It hurts
Hurts like i'm alive
Hurts like you're alive
Gone.


Taking everybit of my soul.
enjoy.