Anhydrous.

Frankly it doesn't matter at all whether you're still there or not. The past & silence despondency still hurts, but somehow the hurts are minimal compared to all the stabs you threw at me. Like an ant's bite.


Olevels are really drawing near, & I can't shake the feeling of fretfulness inside of me. In about 13 hours' time, we'll all be clutching our insides as they give back our preliminary exams results. I frankly doubted that I will do well. Not that I don't have the confidence during the actual sessions, but even the most assured candidate will make mistakes right?

I don't mean to brag or anything, but I did mugged hard like nobody's business during the pre-exams period. Which also lead to the numbers of latecomings as well. But yes the point is I did studied really really hard, & if the results I get back are on par with shihchiang's, I would still feel disappointed with myself that even a slacky person like him is able to beat me.


To all the people who assures me that I won't reach the extent that I'll fail any subjects, I am very flattered. But one of the confirmed letdowns would probably be my biology. Up till now, I have probably 0.1 knowledge of what I've learnt in school. In fact. I don't even think that if anyone asked me facile everyday-done question, I will be able to solve it for them.

Plus, the disadvantages of studying is that I'm losing many friends & my presence as well. This will therefore lead me to become superfluous as well, which will thus make me more obsolete with the rest of the group. & that's not a good thing, because graduation day is nearing & I don't want to lose my secondary memories.


Shit I'm probably the most insecure asshole in the world. But what am I supposed to do. I don't feel like going to try with mervin anymore, & with the exams so near, I'd probably have no time left my family & stuff. Argh I hate this so much.