Holiday.

I probably hadn't blogged here since forever. Which I don't find the need to having tanntheheart & delilah.

Besides no one knew about this anyway.


People, they change.
They disseminate.
They portray something they claim they are not.

Because I know everyone is dying for things to revert to the way they were. But where's the initiative? Where's the guts? Where's the courage for you to go up to the person you wronged, you wanted to hug, you wanted to cry & say whatever you want for him/her to know that you want out of this picture?

But you cant. & you know exactly why that your fear overtakes those craves.

You know that everyone wants to just carry on.
You know that everyone is crapping that they're fine & moving on.
You know that because everyone is doing that, so you have to all the same.

The world is stupid.

Yes to be honest. I'm totally missing my friends.


Oh not the ones in my class right now. They are deeming to be like that because they can't get over what happened.

But instead, people I want to care for.


Where's that mervin that made me feel most appreciated, which had been having my back from the day we became friends, the same one that is able to make me smile with all those crazy stuff he do?
Where's that angela where I am able to tell her my inner feelings, to seek her advice & solutions, & understands what I'm always thinking of?


Why can't they just give me what I wanted?

I'm weeping everytime I think about these. & lying to myself.
That I'm over them, that I'm okay with the way things are now.
Yet I am not able to tell anyone, lest scared that they will think that I'm emo again.
Though I would run a thousand miles to retrieve back that bond that's thought to be lost.

I miss those days that we hang around till it's quite late.
I miss those days where we can be as carefree to go to places we've never been.
I miss those days where we just sit around enjoying the stars and telling each other about everything under them.
I miss those days where we sleepover each other places & share the same pillow and mattresses.
I miss those days.
Those days that I miss.

But the music had stopped playing.



Oh fuck; I wished that they can see everybit of this.
---


A broken watch
You notice that the seconds are not moving
Yet the hours are

You notice the days are passing
But not by seconds

What have seconds become?

enjoy.